


Five Times

by MadelaineHeartEyes



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-08-23 07:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16614347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadelaineHeartEyes/pseuds/MadelaineHeartEyes
Summary: Four times Zelda did not accept Hilda's comfort, and one time she did.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time that Edward told her he had more important things to do than spend time with her, Zelda felt as though Satan himself had taken hold of her heart and closed his fist. She was 13 years old, but felt like a stupid child all over again. Her cheeks flushed, and she felt shocked tears pooling in her eyes. She turned on her heel and all but ran up the stairs, as her brother walked back to his work.

When she reached her bedroom, Zelda slammed the door behind her, and sat down on the edge of her bed, still trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. It had always been her and Edward, from the moment the little boy had been told he was going to be an older brother. They had been inseparable, right up until the moment Edward had been baptised and transferred to the Academy of Unseen Arts. He had played along for a few more weeks, but Zelda had felt his interest slipping as the hours went by. She had anticipated this moment - but that made it no less painful.

Barely minutes had gone by, when she heard a quiet knock on the door. She shouted at them to ‘Go away’, but nevertheless, it swung open to reveal Hilda standing behind it, looking timidly at her older sister. Zelda wiped away her tears, stalking over to the little girl – who turned her head upwards, and silently raised her arms for a hug. Even at 10 years old, the girl wanted to fix everyone and everything. Zelda snarled, snapping the door shut in her face. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to find out how upset she was. 

* * *

Four hours later, the children were called down to dinner. Edward sat stony-faced, his eyes flicking to Zelda as he chewed, who resolutely refused to look at him, pushing her food around her plate. Under the table, Hilda put a hand over her sisters, which was quickly snatched away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys - just a warning: there's a brief mention of non-consensual stuff in here. It's not too bad, but you might want to skip this one if you think that might affect you :)

“Zelda, are you sure you’re alright? What happened today?”

“Nothing mother, I’m fine. Tired.”

Not strictly speaking true. By any means, she was glad it was the weekend. However, she was dreading her sister’s return, when she would have to remember what had happened earlier in the morning.

* * *

 

It had started at breakfast. As she entered the hall, she could feel every eye on her as she joined the queue to collect her meal. Which would be pushed around her plate as she attempted to ignore the whispers around her, and the fingers being unashamedly pointed in her direction. For once, she was sat alone, eating the meal in silence. She could see Hilda looking at her with confusion from her own lonely spot across the room, but could not bear to meet her eyes.

Then in the corridors on her way to choir practice, of all things. The two boys who came up behind, each with a hand on either side of her behind as they walked alongside her, whispering how they ‘knew she liked it’, ignoring her uncontrollable squirm as she attempted to look straight ahead, block it out. She thought it couldn’t get any worse. Then two different boys, in her class this time, standing behind her, stroking her hips as she attempted to keep her voice stea.dy. The director simply glared at her as it hitched in her throat, as though he could not see the cause.

At lunch, the same two boys, along with three others, sitting on the other side of the table. Worse than the whispers was their constant jeering, every time she lifted her fork to her lips, telling her what belonged there instead. She fought the urge to be sick, eventually placing down her cutlery and simply sitting there, stony-faced until the bell went, where she deposited her – once again – untouched meal into the bins.

Her afternoon class consisted only of females – a blessing and a curse. The constant whispers hurt differently to the jeers, but were at least easier to ignore. She simply kept her head down, attempted to focus on the nonsense her teacher was spouting about demons.

Then once more in the corridors, a pack of boys behind her, this time trying to remove her skirt. Thankfully, none of them were particularly skilled warlocks, and the garment stayed firmly around her hips.

It was at dinner where she could no longer keep her head down and block it out. As she sat down, she felt an arm pull her back to standing and round to face the owner.

“You fucking whore.”

The one person she had consciously avoided all day. Cassandra Castor. The girlfriend of the boy who had pulled her into a cupboard as she made her way back to the dormitory last night, ignoring her resistance as he slipped off her nightclothes. They had been found by a member of staff, and the boy had instantly played the victim. It helped that Zelda did not have the reputation of being a virtuous maiden. But she was surprised how many believed she had used witchcraft to seduce him. And how quickly rumors could spread. The tears in the girl’s eyes made her sick to her stomach. But what made her feel more sick was her older brother across the hall, looking at her with such disappointment, such contempt.

“Cass that’s not what – “

Her words were cut off by the other girl’s hand colliding with her face. There was an audible gasp across the room. Her cheek stung, but she held back the tears that wanted to flow. Thankfully, Cassandra was in too much of a state to cast anything at Zelda’s retreating back. She left the room, threw everything into her trunk, and hurriedly signed for weekend leave. Zelda Spellman was not one to usually run away, but the thought of two days of constant ridicule with not even lessons to distract her was too much. She was not thrilled to see Hilda’s name further up the list. That she could do without.

She was just glad Edward’s name was not on the list.

* * *

 

Her bedroom door was closed, which would have communicated the message that she did not want visitors to anyone but her sister. Hilda never could take no for an answer, so when she arrived at the front door, she made a beeline up to Zelda’s room.

Zelda had not been able to stop her tears once she was alone, and cried for almost an hour – over the injustice of it all, her feeling of powerlessness the night before, the fact that her ‘friends’ hadn’t spoken to her all day over an unfounded rumour.

The timid creaking of the door brought her thoughts to a stop, whipping her head round before quickly wiping beneath her eyes.

“Go away Hilda.”

She didn’t need to see her to know who would be at the door, looking at her with far more pity in her eyes than Zelda could stand.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay. That was quite a slap.”

That is was. Zelda had applied a glamour to her face before she left for home, couldn’t bear to see the weal shaped like her friend’s hand.

“Bet you loved it. Seeing me called out for being a slut in front of the whole school. It’s what you think isn’t it?”

She didn’t want to hurt her sister, but the words came tumbling out before she could stop them. Hilda's eyes widened as she tried to stop herself crying.

"That's not what I'm talking about. But if that's how you feel..."

She turned on her heel, slamming the door behind her. Once more, Zelda could not stop her tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in one day because I have no self control :)

Hilda had been tossing and turning for hours – but to no avail. Sleep continued to allude her, and eventually she decided to head downstairs for some chamomile tea in an attempt to finally get some rest.

As she padded down the stairs, she could hear noises from the kitchen – raising her guard, she tiptoed the rest of the way, peering round the door. Initially, she relaxed and the sight of her sister at the sink. But as she looked closer, her concern quickly returned. Zelda was frantically scrubbing at what looked like blood-stained sheets, tears pouring down her face as she shook.

“Zelda?”

She jumped at the sound, dropping the sheets back into the sink as she turned away to grip the table, her knuckles turning rapidly white as her chest heaved with barely-contained sobs.

“Oh Zelds…”

Hilda’s ability to read people so accurately was something she could seldom control, and she began to tear up herself as Zelda’s thoughts and emotions washed over her in a never-ending wave.

“Stop it! Hilda stop it!”

Her face had turned murderous, yet she was still shaking like a leaf, her eyes leaking as she clutched her stomach.

“How many?”

“Why the fuck does it matter? He wants a child, more than anything in the world. I’ve tried everything. Everything. And still I can’t do it.”

She knew she sounded hysterical – she was hysterical. And she couldn’t bring herself to look at her sister. They were both midwives – they both knew what this meant. You could only pass it off as bad luck so many times. And Hilda could see this was more than that. Deep down, Zelda could too.

“Let me do that. Go up and get some sleep – you must be in pain.”

“No. I deserve it.”

Hilda felt the colour drain from her face.

“Don’t say that Zelda! How can you say that!”

She stepped towards her sister, wanting to take her in her arms and tell her it would all be okay. Empty words, but it was all she could do. But Zelda pushed her away, turning her face and crossing her arms.

“Just… Just leave me alone. I need to be alone.”

As Hilda left the kitchen hesitantly, the venom drained from her sister’s face once more. The moment she turned the corner, Zelda collapsed into a chair, once hand over her mouth, muffling her sobs once more, the other clawing at her stomach. She wished she could rip it out – it was useless anyway. She wished she could scream at the injustice of it all. She wished she could curl up and just disappear.

* * *

Hours later, when Zelda had dried the sheets and folded them away, and finally dragged herself back up the stairs, she was almost surprised to find her bed made. But she understood when she saw a pain-relieving draft on her bedside cabinet, along with a tincture for dreamless sleep. She couldn’t help the tears welling up in her eyes again. And the whispered ‘thank you’ that she almost hoped her sister could hear.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay in updating! My life is overwhelmingly busy at the moment but I'm glad to be back writing, and I'm so thankful to those who continue to read/comment/leave kudos on my works. The next chapter will be longer (hopefully) and more more heartbreaking (certainly), so sorry/not sorry about that :)

When Zelda stepped through the front door, she could sense that the house was teeming with misspent magic. She almost turned to leave again, a headache already forming across her temples, but concern for Ambrose won out, and she briskly climbed the stairs up to the attic bedroom he made his home. 

She didn't need to knock. The door looked like it had been blown off it's hinges, and it lay down the hallway. There was an overwhelming smell of burning, and what appeared to be thick black smoke curling in the air, and Zelda found herself coughing slightly as her throat began to sting, her chest tightening - more though fear than the effects of the mistaken spell. She barely managed to croak out "Ambrose?" before he appeared in the empty door frame, looking more sheepish than she had ever seen him before, his face covered in a soot like substance. She breathed a shaky sigh of relief, before quickly arranging her features into a disapproving scowl.

"For the love of Satan Ambrose, please tell me that you have  _not_  attempted what I think you have."

The look on his face was all the confirmation she needed. Waving a hand, the smoke disappeared, and a large pentagram could be seen in the center of the floor, surrounded by blown out candles and a ring of various herbs. She felt the anxiety ebb away, and in it’s place came cold anger.

“What exactly were you hoping to achieve? What could you possibly gain other than self satisfaction for this stupid, stupid act? You know how ridiculously unpredictable summoning spells are, and yet you choose to perform one alone, upstairs in a WOODEN HOUSE!”

By this point, Hilda had returned from the garden and raced up the stairs at the shouting. She looked ridiculous, Zelda thought, plants overflowing from the pockets of her pink overalls.

“What on earth is going on up here?”

Zelda turned on her too, flush rising on her cheeks as her chest heaved with rage. Hilda knew this was a sign that her sister was close to tears, and she instantly softened and went to lay a hand on her arm, but she snatched it away.

“Ask your nephew! And how did you not sense what was happening within the house! I leave you for two fucking hours and I come back to a scene that could have left the two of you dead and the coven exposed!”

At this, Ambrose raised his own voice.

“I am PERFECTLY capable of dealing with a summoning spell. And I get no praise for getting rid of it successfully?”

Zelda scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest to match his posture.

“Successful would certainly not be a word that I would apply to this situation. How could you be so foolish? You could have so easily been killed, you could have burnt the house down. You CANNOT continue to act in this fashion. I understand you are unhappy cooped up in here, but that does not mean you can put yourself and others at risk completely unnecessarily.”

Ambrose began to bow his head, but whipped it up at her final words.

"I am NOT putting anyone at risk. I'm FUCKING SICK OF BEING HERE. I make one mistake and I'm stuck with two insufferable women in a useless town and you won't even let me do magic. You're not my mother, Zelda, so stop acting like you give a shit what happens to me."

Hilda took a sharp intake of breath. Zelda felt her heart hitch in her chest, dangerously close to tears this time. Ambrose's face instantly changed to one of remorse, but before he could open his mouth to apologise, Zelda had turned on her heel and bolted down the stairs. The two left pretended they hadn't heard a door slam followed my muffled sobs from the floor below.

* * *

Zelda felt as though Satan himself was gripping her heart as she leant heavily against her bedroom door, a hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds coming from her mouth. She angrily wiped the tears, not understanding why she was feeling as though Ambrose had stabbed her directly in the stomach rather than simply letting out his frustrations. She knew he was stir-crazy, desperate for some excitement. Somehow, that didn't make her feel even remotely better. Her other hand unconsciously fell to her stomach, as she closed her eyes against the flow of tears.

* * *

Hilda knocked tentatively on the door, not wanting to simply walk in (despite having as much right to be in there as Zelda herself). When she got no response, she pushed it open gently, surprised to see her sister sitting at their vanity, with her head still buried in her hands, shoulders still shaking slightly. 

Upon hearing her sister's entrance, she straightened up quickly, swiping the tears from beneath her eyes as though they were nothing more than an inconvenience. Hilda approached carefully, placing her hands on her sisters quivering shoulders. She threw them off.

"Zelds, he didn't mean it. He's really very sorry."

Zelda frowned.

"I don't know what's come over me. But you. You should NEVER have left him when he's in a mood like this. He could have killed himself so easily. And you would have let it happen."

"I couldn't stop him even if I wanted to, you know that. You should go and see him."

Zelda whipped her head around, face murderous again, and Hilda tensed for a pair of nail scissors in the neck, before she saw the tears still shining in her sister's eyes.

"Go and see him? He's made it very clear he would rather be without. Hilda, just leave me alone for Satan's sake."

Hilda made to leave, before turning back.

"Do you want some tea?"

"Out!"

* * *

Dinner was tense that evening. Edward was absent, busy at the academy, and they all pretended to ignore the redness of Zelda's eyes and Ambrose's cheeks, or the too-wide smile on Hilda's face that didn't quite reach her eyes. The meal passed, with Zelda stood up the moment her plate was clear, making for the door. To Hilda's surprise, Ambrose followed seconds later, jogging to catch up with his Aunt in the hallway.

"Aunt Zee?"

She turned back haughtily, slowly, not sure if she could cope with another fight. But he placed a hand over her crossed arms, genuine sorrow in his face.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it to come out like that. I just..."

But for the first time in his memory, she held out her arms to him, and he went into them gratefully, and for a moment they simply stood there - he rubbed circles on her back as her shoulders shook, and buried his face in her hair, whispering "I'm sorry" once more.

Then the spell was broken and Zelda pulled back, her eyes glistening but a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. But Ambrose felt the tension leave both of them as they walked up the stairs together, splitting off at the top.

* * *

It was only much later, when the two sisters lay in adjacent beds that Hilda mentioned it again.

"So have you too made up? Are you alright now?"

"Of course I am Hilda, I don't know what you're talking about."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Zelda. Not only Sabrina is an ungrateful protege...
> 
> I know this chapter doesn't strictly follow the format, but I wanted to extend it a bit to finish the idea in a more hopeful manner as I'm very conscious I'm sort of breaking everyone's hearts here ;)
> 
> As usual, thank you so much for reading x


	5. Chapter 5

The light in the High Priest’s office was too bright, it was hurting her eyes. The _new_ High Priest’s office, Zelda reminded herself. It would never be Edward’s again. Nothing would ever be Edward’s again. She was vaguely aware of her sister sobbing next to her, shaking and wailing. Faustus’ face swum before her, and his words had blurred together until she couldn’t understand what he was saying. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears and very little else.

“Sister Zelda?”

Her head snapped up, and suddenly she could hear him again. Faustus truly did look deeply sorry, even if Edward’s demise had put him in the most fortuitous position.

“Maybe you might like to take your sister home.”

Zelda gave a curt nod, grabbing Hilda’s arm and hoisting her up.

“May Satan be with you.”

But they were already out the door. Neither of them could be trusted to teleport at that moment, so they started the walk back through the woods towards the house. As Hilda dried her tears and slowly stopped shaking, Zelda felt more like a spring that was being coiled. She felt as though she should be crying, but could not. It was as though her heart was completely empty, but she could not stop the tension, unbidden, tightening all her muscles. Her nails dug into her palms, hard, as they sat by her sides, and her legs began to feel less and less stable underneath her. Hilda noticed, and placed an arm around her sister’s waist, pretending it was for her own comfort. In all honesty, she didn’t trust Zelda to get back to the house in one piece. There was always a delay with her sister, but there was also a breaking point.

They walked the whole route in silence, pausing only so Zelda could dig in her bag for the front door key with shaking hands that could hardly fit it in the lock. The door swung open, and she began to stalk away, up the stairs. But halfway across the front room, a hand flew to her mouth and her legs finally gave out, feeling as though someone was piercing right through her heart. She landed, hard, on all fours and Hilda almost collapsed herself at the sound that came from her sister – one that sounded as though it came from a wounded animal rather than a human. She hurried forwards, wrapping her arms around the older witch and pulling her back into a sitting position. Zelda struggled for a second, then turned back to her sister, burying her head in her shoulder, sobbing into her cardigan. Hilda allowed a few of her own tears to escape, but she knew that, in this moment, her pain was no comparison to Zelda’s anguish. She rocked the shaking woman gently, whispering in her ear, her own voice cracking.

“It’s alright love. We’re okay. It’s alright.”

* * *

Hours later, Hilda was walking up the stairs with a cup of calming tea for her sister, who for the first time she could remember, had allowed herself to be led upstairs, have her makeup taken off for her and be tucked up under a blanket as she watched obsessively over the baby girl, Sabrina. Who was now theirs to raise and look after. And Zelda, as unholy godmother, would be damned if she allowed herself to fail at that.

She was halfway across the hall when she heard a strangled cry of “Hilda”, and abandoned the tea on a side table, racing to her and her sister’s shared bedroom. She threw the door open, only to see Zelda leaning heavily on Sabrina’s crib, her chest heaving and reddening as one hand scrabbled at it. Hilda rushed over, grabbing her by the upper arms.

“What’s wrong? Zelds?”

But the terror in Zelda’s glistening eyes shot straight to Hilda’s soul, her face tear-stained and her whole body shaking like a leaf.

“I-I can-can’t breathe.”

Zelda’s gasps became more rapid, and the room swam before her one more as her chest tightened further. She vaguely felt her sister lower her onto the bed, and begin to speak to her calmly.

“You’ve got yourself in a panic, love. You need to take some deep breaths. In – that’s good, like that – and out again. And in – and out.”

 Zelda felt the room come back into focus as her head stopped pounding and the knot in her chest began to loosen. She looked at her sister, almost breaking again at the concern in her face.

“What happened Zelds?”

Zelda closed her eyes, fresh tears falling down her cheeks.

“She’s just… so small. So fragile. I don’t want to hurt her.”

Hilda placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, and Zelda allowed her head to rest against her sister.

“You will not. You will be as fantastic at this as you are everything else.”

But still Zelda did not stop shaking.

“What are we going to do Hilda? What are we going to do without him?”

And then she was crying again, sobbing into her sister’s nightgown, who gently rubbed a hand up and down her arm.

“I’m not sure love. But we’ll manage. What I’m going to do now is go and get your tea, then we are going to try and get some sleep. We can sort everything out in the morning.”

Zelda seemed reluctant to let go. She curled up like a small child, pulling her knees to her chest in a gesture of self-protection. The sight of it brought fresh tears to Hilda’s eyes. 

When she re-entered the room, Zelda was still there, so she placed the cup down on a table and eased her sister up, pulling the covers back and placing her under them. But as she went to pull them back up again, Zelda caught her wrist, looking up at her, her face pleading.

“Please. Stay.”

Hilda shrugged off her robe and placed it on the back of a chair then joined her sister under the duvet, wrapping both arms around her waist.

They cried a great deal more that night, shaking and sobbing under the covers. But they were together. And at some point, sleep pulled them both under. Things would not be alright in the morning, but they would be better.


End file.
